Hàng Ngày

Nhưng…Có những lúc mà tôi rất vui, tôi cảm thấy rất thoải mai (như tối này, tôi đi ăn tối và hát karaoke với những giáo viên trẻ khóa sư phạm) tôi phải nhớ lại tôi chứ không phải là người Việt. Và tôi không bao giờ trở thành người Việt được. Với lại tôi thật sự không muốn trở thành người Việt Nam, đặc biệt là phụ nữ Việt Nam. Nhưng mà, tôi ở đây càng lâu, tôi cảm thấy càng thoải mai, tự nhiên ở đây. Có phải là một nam sáu tôi mới được cảm thấy “at home” here không? Lau thế! Bây giờ tôi biết tiếng Việt nhiều, tôi biết văn hóa Việt Nam sâu sắc hơn trước, tôi cũng cảm thấy tôi có thể ở đây lau hơn…mà chứ không phải ở Long Xuyên. Mình muốn chuyên làm việc khác, và thật sự muốn học thạc sĩ ở Mỹ, và trong thực tế, it doesn’t make sense to stay! Tôi chỉ muốn nói rằng tôi cảm thấy rất là vui hiện này bây giờ (ha, and tomorrow, làm sao?), và tôi sẽ rất buồn khi tôi đi ra khỏi Long Xuyên. Mặc dù tôi biết rằng tôi phải đi, và muốn đi.

As Thanksgiving draws near (although you wouldn’t know it with the unseasonably warm weather here), and because of various events that have been going on in my life lately, I have become keenly aware of how thankful I am for my good health and strength. The past few weeks have been incredibly busy, and have also given me many reminders of a time in my life when I was not so healthy and strong. I have been reminded of how far I have come in my mental and physical journeys over the past few years, and also made aware of how I must have appeared to my friends and relatives during those vulnerable times. Health is so important; mental and physical health is the basis of everything we do and think and say. I could never survive this experience if I wasn’t physically healthy, and yet I take that for granted everyday. This Thanksgiving, while I am far away from family and friends and everything I know and love, I still have my body, my spirit, my strength, and my stamina. And well, that’s a hell of a lot to be thankful for.

On Tuesday I was invited to go to attend my first engagement party in Vietnam. Khoi, one of my second year students from last year (so young!) lives about an hour away from Long Xuyen, and I had visited his family’s home before. They are great people, very easygoing and fun, and I was so honored and excited to be invited to this event.

I arrived Tuesday night after work to a large gathering of mostly older men sitting at tables set up outside Khoi’s house. Almost immediately I was sat at a table with a bunch of Khoi’s friends who were cracking cans of beer and setting out chopsticks in preparation for a meal. The food was great, and I was surprised to see both young men and young women drinking at this party! Unfortunately, I didn’t get much chance to talk to any of them because the traditional music, sung by previously mentioned semi-drunk men, was blasting through a subwoofer about 10 meters from my ear. We retired early, however, to get up the next morning for the main event.

Wednesday morning I was awoken at 5 am to get ready. This consisted of going downstairs for hair and makeup where the women in Khoi’s family were chatting and laughing. It was a great environment, albeit a bit early to be getting ready since we then sat around until almost 7:15, when I was called upstairs to help Khoi and his friends take some traditional gifts to the bride’s house. I had the honor of carrying two bottles of rice wine, wrapped in kitchy red paper. We loaded into a bunch of borrowed cars and traveled the few kilometers to the bride’s house, blasting cheesy techno music at the top of the car’s volume the whole way. There were bobble head dogs on the dash of the car. I was laughing hysterically.

 The bride receiving earrings from her mother in law

When we arrived at the house Khoi performed rituals of worshipping his elders on both sides before the bride came out dressed in her red and white ao dai to receive gifts of gold, diamonds, and money from Khoi and his family (they are quite well off). Then came the party…

 Mot, hai, ba, VO!
The party was crazy. It began at about 9:30 am, me again assigned to a table with Khoi’s closest friends and young cousins. We were downing beers “tram phan tram,” 100% of the glass, before the couple came in and the food was set. I think I was drunk before we even started eating (seeing as it was 9 am and I hadn’t eaten breakfast). The debauchery only continued as Khoi and his wife came around to each of the tables for photo-ops, and the ride back to his house (with the driver who had been sitting at my table…) was a bit treacherous, with one of Khoi’s insanely drunk friends climbing all over the back seat of the car. We continued to karaoke where the bride and groom met us and sang and danced for a few hours before finally feeling so exhausted we could barely move. The hot stuffy bus ride back to Long Xuyen was an appropriate end to a wonderful two day party. I had class at 7 pm and it went horribly. I think I was still drunk. At least this time I wasn’t the only woman at the party!!

Me and the happy couple

I talked to Minh once about why he doesn’t kill ants (besides the fact that he’s a Buddhist, of course). He said that when he was little he used to watch ants with his grandfather, and he was so in awe of their incredible ability, that he never wanted to kill them. I laughed a little at this.

However, I too have taken to watching ants on occasion in Vietnam, particularly when the power is out. My room provides ample opportunity for this activity, as there seems to be some sort of red-ant shelter in the corner of one cabinet in my bedroom, and a small-black-ant enclave in the floor, next to the doorway. I must admit that I have, on occasion, covered this smaller ant hideout with gluestick and watched in evil delight as the ants confusedly scurried around looking for their home.

Today, however, I was the one who was awe-struck by the ants. I arose from reading while laying on a mattress on the floor to discover that the ants, the big red ants, had invaded my room. They usually keep to the corner where their lair is located. They were everywhere! I panicked, thinking that they had finally come to seek their revenge on me for the gluestick. However, on closer inspection, I noticed they were in fact migrating in a particular direction. I followed them, and to my amazement, saw them dragging a bug at least 30 times their size, and still alive, over to their little corner hole in the cabinet. They were moving quickly at that. I watched, mesmerized, as they dragged it over, up the wall a few inches, and into the cabinet, swallowed by the darkness inside. Amazing.